There are lots of crossovers between choosing a celebrant and a therapist, particularly, if like me, you specialise in relationship counselling.

You want a ‘human’ by your side, someone who listens, understands and can celebrate the joy a great relationship can offer.

These are the key questions:

• Do I feel comfortable?
• Can I easily chat and share thoughts and ideas?
• Are they on my wavelength?
• Am I engaged by them?

You need to connect with your celebrant; you are putting a lot of trust in them. Whatever their style, you need to feel confident this is a relationship that is going to work for you.
As with counselling, you can draw up a short list of maybe three - and ask for a no obligation, free initial chat. If it’s possible, do it face to face, although online is a reliable fall back.
You can probably tell within the first few minutes as to whether this is a person you trust and feel relaxed with.

There are a few other considerations:

• Is the celebrant a strong communicator –written and verbal
• Are they warm, friendly ?
• Are they really listening?
• How flexible are they?

Once you get past first base you can ask for an outline structure of how they envisage your wedding, the style and tone they have interpreted from your conversation, the key elements which must be included.

For my clients I always factor in a couple of re-drafts: I like to do the first draft pretty much after meeting the couple while their voices are still in my head.

The draft is sent for a first round of comments and amends and then I always suggest a final amend/edit, probably about four weeks before the ceremony. You might have had some new thoughts or memories in the interim.

As so often, trust your instinct. For a big decision such as this, it very rarely lets you down.

There are currently two ways to be legally married in the UK: a religious service, typically at a church or, secondly, at a licensed venue such as a registry office which is often within a council building or courtroom.

If you are not religious, the choice is really whether a ceremony at a registry office will suffice or whether you would prefer a more personal celebrant-led ceremony as well.

Celebrants cannot perform legally binding marriages in England and Wales although this may change soon as it is being considered as part of the Law Commission weddings review.

More and more couples are going for a small registry office option followed by a celebrant led ceremony.

As a celebrant I cannot imagine being married by someone I had never met. I would also struggle with the idea of my wedding simply being the next one on a conveyor belt of ceremonies when timings can be pretty rigid.

Most couples who opt for a celebrant tend to go to their local registry office a couple of days before their wedding. This ceremony can be as simple as you like – you are there to sign documents and you don’t even have to exchange rings.

The real celebration, with their family and friends can take place wherever they like and whenever they like.

Whatever you choose – church, registrar or celebrant – it should reflect the style and size of the celebration you want – and feel authentic to you.

A celebrant wedding allows you complete freedom to express your ideas and words, declaring in public why you have chosen each other.

I am sure we have all been to weddings which feel dry, lack personality and which can feel like a box ticking exercise.

For some, that can be enough.

But I feel a wedding ceremony – and the official start of your life together – should be more. It’s an opportunity to find the best words which reflect the way you feel about one another and what you are committing to the relationship.

As a couples’ counsellor I believe it’s important to think about these words and why you have chosen one another. The ceremony should draw in your guests, be filled with laughter and share the unique story that belongs to you.

Above all, your ceremony should not be boring. Let’s think outside the box.

I am in the throes of writing a wedding script for a fantastic couple. When I first met them were rather shy about sharing their reasons as to why they chose each other. Both academics, they were worried it would all sound a bit over the top and schmaltzy.

Honestly, if you can’t show off a bit on your wedding day, when can you?

Through a careful choice of words and using humour at the right points, they are now one hundred per cent on board and totally comfortable with the script. As an ex-journalist I can normally find the right words and tone.

Think of your ceremony as a glorious painting with the shapes, colours and expression entirely for you to imagine and create. The canvas is blank and you have complete freedom to fill it however you want.